To Be With a Forest

Walking through a forest is not the same as being in a forest, and being in a forest isn’t the same as being with the forest.

I had been strolling along, admiring the scenery, when the forest asked me to stop. I’d been enjoying the vistas, the dappled and changing light. I was finally here, alone! It was beautiful and I was enjoying myself, relaxing with each step I took.

Then, stop.

In the middle of the path I stood. The crunch of gravel and dirt and leaf litter fell away. The light stopped flickering. The view became static. I stayed still. My breath slowly settled and grew quiet.

I noticed insects flying, their wings catching the light. The clicking of cicadas rose and fell as they passed. A trail of wasps flew to and from a small hollow in a tree. A beech leaf, yellow, the size of a small coin, fell from the tree in front of me. It fell quietly, the way they do when not observed. A breeze caught it, blew it toward me, like a parent blowing bubbles to a child. It landed at my feet.

Around me trees sighed. Each one shifted slightly, swaying; the movement of the rooted. Water coursed invisibly up each trunk. The leaves breathed. I could see the wet air above them. I could see nothing. I could smell the air they breathed out, and the damp, the rotted earth, the sweet honeyed beech, something flowering, something dead.

The forest moves. It dances. One thing speaks to another. All day long it talks to itself, this forest. It breathes in and out, it rushes like blood. It ticks like a clock, marking nothing but now. Walking through a forest, it is scenery. Being there without actually ‘being’ while there reduces it to a change of scene—little more than a greener, prettier backdrop to the otherwise unchanging dialogue of my life.

This walking thing I’ve embarked on, it’s curious. First I learned to let go of walking for exercise, for my body, and to walk for the walk, and now this? Walk to stand still? Stand still to see that everything, everywhere, always is moving? So curious. Walk on.

Mary xx